A Poem and Interview with Matt Sedillo

Once
Once upon a dream
Or at least so I heard
From the time long before
In a land now distant
We gathered
Took shelter from the winter
Our child eyes
One with the stars
Collected moonbeams
Our veins rivers and streams
Our heart was a beat
And each generation
One to the next
We built stronger nests
And legends
Were left
Fuller than found
Or at least so I heard
From the time
Before
I was born on a stretch of land
Known for its weather
Where
The sun shone its light
Upon the righteous and the wicked
The wretched and the privileged
The innocent and truly guilty alike
As their gilded steps
Fell upon our heads
For those who own the land own the law
And those who do not
Only its consequence
I had this dream once
A man walked a child
To the edge of a hill
Upon which sat a mansion
He pointed up and said son
There live the rich
And though you and I
May never live to see it
One day this hill will run red with their blood
Sometimes I have all the strength
And sometimes I have none at all
I have this reoccurring life
Where every moment is midnight
And every step is fog
Wake up
Wake up
Wake up on downtown bus ride
Along side
A friend of mine
Tell me your troubles
I’ll tell you mine
Or we can just shoot the breeze
Pass the time
Something about a job
Something about the car
Some run in with the cops
How I almost got fucked up by the law
How everyone just stood around
And watched
How I talked my way out
Like I usually do
Tells me school kids
Are chanting in her children’s face
Trump
Trump
And build the wall
We were children during prop 187
This is worse
I imagine
I pause
I restart
This is worse I know
It ebbs and it flows
Always really coming
And it never really goes
How our kids are never just kids
In this country
We talk history
Mendez and Lemon Grove
Rodriguez vs San Antonio
Saul Castro and the blowouts
McGraw Hill and Texas
How Tucson unified against us
How our ancestors walk with us
How our legends rattle our bones
How la lucha makes us strong
But la luna makes us who we are
She tells me she doesnt like to ride the bus alone
At least not night
Tells me of dangers
I never have to consider
How the world is full of threat
Because the world is full of men
No exceptions
I sit
I listen
The wheels keep turning
We reach our destination
Walk our separate ways
I find no peace these days
I head east
Towards clinics of cruelty
All humanity stripped from a system
Sadism posed as social work
In El Monte
The writing on the wall
Will insult you in two languages
On the corner
Of Paramount and Whittier
On the border
Of Montebello and Pico Rivera
Signs ring out to criminalize our movement
Six months in a cage for cruising
My father always said
They hate to see us shining
The car was once his
Its days are few
My feet are weary
I sleep in parking lots
Sleepwalk my way
To the westside
Some kind of festival of lights
At the edge of conquest
At the beginning or end
Of the Christopher Columbus highway
I make my way
Waist deep to the pacific
I welcome the waves
Make distant the land
Make distant its chant
Come this far to forget
Feel the moonlight ripple my skin
Awake again
I walk the pier
See them in the distance
The boys in blue
The killing crew
Authorized lynch mob
Death squad
America signed with a bullet
Five pigs to one teenager
Hands cuffed behind his back
Loud proud frat boys walk by
Drinking from flasks
Black youth is criminalized
White crime
Is state sanctioned
The guns
Their triggers
Their laughter
They call for back up
No crowd gathers
The city’s eyes
The city’s lights
March forward
This is expected
This is nothing to see
This what we have come to imagine
Never once
In all their murderous authority
Do they ever stop laughing
After an hour
They release him
No explanation
They simply
Tell him to stay out of trouble
This is the law of the land
I have this dream
Every so often
Of people
Beyond borders and prisons
Gathered in the distance
Telling tales of a time
When women feared the evening
When communities were punished by color
And grown men hunted children
Hardly able to believe
There was a time
People once lived this way

Question from the editor: One of the things I’ve always admired and loved about your work is the structure, which feels loose at first, but always circles back to make an extraordinary point. I wonder if you could explain how you structure this poem specifically and your poems in general.

Matt: My art is structure, juxtaposition and pacing. “Once” is no exception. Here is what I mean.

Structure

I write in a three act structure. Act 1 typically is a world build. Act 2 typically an introduction of conflict. Act 3 is typically a resolution of the conflict with elements of the world build.

With persona poems I often employ the unreliable villainous narrator which will follow the structure of an Act 1 appeal, an Act 2 false initiation and finally an Act 3 reveal of intentions.

With epiphany poems the narrator goes from a lack of understanding to some grand conclusion. In Act 1 the narrator iterates a stasis of conflict, there world is conflict and they are already seeking solution they are determined and accept the world as is and present a sort of cynicism, Act 2 the narrator reveals the toll it has upon them, their cynicism breaks Act 3 the narrator’s anger peaks and they are left either imagining something better or willing to reengage in conflict with some new greater understanding. There are other variations as well but these are my most commonly used forms.

Juxtaposition

Throughout the movements of the acts there are sections and subsections that must bounce well off each other and echo one another for the piece to feel whole.

These sections must have commonality and contrast. The tone must shift between acts. This can be done with subtle dissolves or sharp cuts, but either way, there is one constant and that constant is that art is commonality and contrast.

Pacing

The length of each act is relative to the other acts, rushing or dragging occurs when the math is all off.

Structure of Once

That is generally speaking how I do everything. When looking specifically at the poem Once, what I set out to do was structure Act 1 in a mythical utopian past, Act 2 in the current day and Act 3 in a future utopia. Once is an epiphany poem.

Juxtaposition of Once

The word “Once” appears several time throughout the poem. Its appearance throughout signifies shifts in meaning and tone. It guides through each act and anchors the shifts in tone.

Pacing of Once

The pacing of Once is tricky as Act 2 has 3 major subsections, one where he is bonding and reflecting on the problems of a friend, one where he is reflecting on his own problems and finally one where he is reflecting on the problems of a stranger. For the purposes of structure it would appear the beginning of Act 3 is the imagining future Utopia. But in my mind Act 3 really begins with the concern for the stranger. Its where the narrator’s imagination springs beyond an imagined child, his friend, himself and into the broader world.